Sick again! emotions controlling...
sigh... got sick on labour day... wad de hell... flu again.. can't help it...:(
got back to team 6 in emrs, but these few days find myself somehow like out of topic for sometimes.. maybe i missed out some of the good times that they had together when i was busy with musical...
the girls were alright.. so were the guys.. at least i'm quite thankful that clement and kaydence talk to me and i won't feel as bad.. i realli felt bad for missing out so much because of musical.. and before i come back to emrs i knew that definitely i will feel a bit outcast... but, i did not blame them cos' wad it's meant to be, it's meant to be...
zhiming did advise mi to give special effort to the team so as to make up for the lost time being with team 6.. think i should listen to him n do my best to do wadever i can...
well, recently since few months ago got closer to a guy fren.. he's nice to mi, in fact to everyone. i like the way he smile and his care for people around him. i always feel so comfortable when i tell him bout my family and school and dance... he's always there to be a listening ear.. plus he has the very unique kind of charisma when he plays the organ... i don't feel my heart beating that fast but just a very relaxing feeling... i really can't tell what is it... is that love?
he used to be one of my fren's ex-bf.. n what if one day my fren finds out that her ex-bf and me were so close? will my fren be mad at mi? 2 years ago i was provoked by someone to leave a guy fren of mine. jus becos i was too close to my guy fren and the gal who likes him was jealous of mi, afraid that i will win the guy over. that's nonsense! i jus wanna be frenz... why she think so much? n now we became like enemies..:( i really dun wish that my fren now will hate mi becos i went close with her ex-bf...
i jus dun understand why are these things always bumping on mi... why can't i have a peaceful frenship with a guy? is there anything wrong? or is it true that if a guy and gal bacome close frenz there must be something behind it??? i realli dun get it lo...:(
however, this close guy fren can really be said as a mr nice guy to most of the people... i realised that initially my frenship with him slowly n slowly grew into something else... i kinda miss him when i dun see him... i wanted to talk to him and share with him everything tat's kept in my heart... what's going on... i have fallen into this trap again... it's not that the guy is bad, but it's my emotions that are bad... emotions are uncontrollable now... what should i do???
i need a rest... the thot of him going away for weeks turns my heart sour...:( shall i pray???