Emotions
Lately, I realised that work has been piling up..some changes happened without any signals... lots of calling, sending of letters, rebates... I'm trying so hard to reach a Tier 1. My first offer to the customer has lapsed, what a big blow to me. Why cant the customer promise me to make his payment on time? He can help himself n as well as helping me get a job well done. But, these are just empty promises... I managed to Hit! benchmark for my Contacts, still a little bit to go for KPs and $Collected... I have to Hit! this month... I have to... I felt the tension, stress level going up to the tip of my temples, especially when someone who comes in later than me but has more working experience than me had Hit! a Tier 1. I want to push myself to be better. Had been quiet lately in the office... I dint "tiew" so much like I usually do to my colleagues. Even Phoebe asked what happen to me...

Partially is because of my own personal problems too. I cried to Huiqi tonight. I told her how much I needed someone to be there to walk with me. I'm not thinking about having bfs. Its just about a companionship, someone to be there to lend me a ear and care for me. I missed my parents, how have they been? I got stressed at work, who can I talk to? I need someone who will love n care for me, someone who will tell me, "yes, i'm here to care for you." I started to realise his goodness, all the part n parcels that you almost cant see them. These part n parcels may seem easy, but they contain care n sincerity. I dont care how he looks, how good or bad his family is.. I needed a someone just like him. Yes, he told me, "i'm here to care for you..". Yes, he is. I felt his care showered on me. He is tactful. He is gentle. A peaceful natured guy. He dont like quarrels n he never scolded me though tht I am unreasonable at times. He gave me a Carebear. It shows that he cares. But he left for holiday without letting me know in advance. At the last minute of time before his flight, he smsed me n said, "i'm flying off soon, u must take care ok?" Early in the morning when I was on my way to office, the sms soured my heart. My day in the office was crushed. I didn'nt have the spirits to do my job, and I just kept quiet... Its just silence that accompanied me with my feelings... What will the outcome of us to be? I'm tired... I just want to close my eyes and think of his care... Its a breakdown.. Truly it is.

Another meet out with my darlings...