<![CDATA[
<body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7860344788592622892?origin\x3dhttp://angelinthewinterdance.blogspot.com',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>
]]>
Monday, September 24, 2007
I must be strong!
The problem between me and my church buds are getting worst. I really don't know what's wrong... I tried asking them but they just refuse to tell me. I think they must really find me annoying that's why i gapped from them so much. I am really disappointed with my best fren, who grew up with me together in church. Thinking back, I could still recall of the time when she offered to share her colour pencils and biscuits with me in Sunday School, and even gave me surprise hand-made cards whenever she feel like making one for me. I'm so touched by what she had done for me as a fren for so many years-18yrs. And this year is the 19th year. But, to my great disappointment, she left me, left me and went closer with my Godsister. I don't mind that they are close, neither am I jealous about it. It's just that all of a sudden, I feel so outcast by them, as if they have not know me before. Both their birthdays are the same but jus differ one year. Perhaps, that's the reason why they can clique so well. I just can't cos I'm different and this can never be changed. These few weeks, my family problems have been giving me a great headache. I can't concentrate much on my school. I'm very afraid that I can't adapt to the new place and living with new people. I have never tried living away from my brother and dad. Though I had alot of disagreement with them for many times, leaving them and moving to another place just shattered my heart. Cos I feel that I will be living in a place that does not belong to me. A home that didn't want me and my best friend that didn't want me too. Really feel like leaving this world. Very soon if I don't save myself, I know I will suffer from depression. She is my best friend, why must she leave me? She's changed, really changed. It's no longer the Esther that I knew. For Beatrix, I don't really have hopes for her. Because, she's the kind who will hate people to the core, no matter what. That's why she's still hating her ex-bf now. I will be her eye-sore too. All that I could say is that she just need to grow, cos' her mentality is still as childish.I started to realise that not all Christians are good people. I'm not trying to reject God. It's just that all people are sinners. Including me. In God, I did not take good care of this friendship with them. That's why I upset God. But I din mean to.Maybe, it's going to be a change in my life. I'm going to have new friends. Friends like HuiHui, Zhiming, Zhiwei, Ziya, Ervinna, Jasmine, Kat, Nadia, Lyna, RuanDong, HuiQi, Jessilyn, Clement, Kaydence Patricia and Von are able to lend me their ears. True friends that I should consider. And I think it's time to let go of this 19 years of friendship, ya? So many friends in school, can they overwrite this 19 years?New stage of life, moving this Friday. My best friend won't know where I will be moving to. Maybe I shall isolate myself and look for a brighter tomorrow.
Angelic
