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Sunday, March 23, 2008
Healing...
Sister Carolyn on leave again today... a bit of Monday blues for mi this morning but i am not late as usual! Helped out with Staff Nurse Lim in tidying up her files in her thumbdrive... she's soooo messy hahaha.... went online for a while and fingers itchy again, deliberately went to his flicker to view his beautiful pictures. well, i will still say that he has very good photography skills even though i dun love him and he is likewise. hmm, jus itchy hand and wanna view his flicker that's all. then realised that e photo of mi n him taken some time back was deleted. he must have junked it. i'm not sad at all. jus glad that he let go. singlehood life now is so wonderful... i went back to church and did so much to show God that He is the one that i truly love, the one that His love for mi will never change...:)Come to think back, i think it is the right way to choose to end up with him, even though i love him so much. i wont want a partner who doesnt think about the future with mi and afraid of promises and not loving my family members... yes i know so well that i really love him so much that i ever thought of being his wife... but to him maybe it's jus a fairytale story that i always had in my own lalaland... he might think that it stupid... i always thought of the best for our future and moulding those imperfections into perfections... but, he jus didnt have the confidence in himself and is afraid that he cant take care of mi... well, if both of us dun work hard together, how to take care of each other and achieve a beautiful future? it takes two hands to clap u know? i jus learnt an analogy about a husband and a wife. husband on a chair and the wife on the ground. if the husband didnt pull and the wife didnt push herself up, how do the couple get onto the chair together? hmm, i think i'm the one standing on the chair instead-the husband. i'm trying my best to pull up my partner and get him up onto the chair with mi. but too bad that my partner chose to stay on the ground and didnt wanna see the beautiful scenery that's ahead of us... i have done my part, i'm not rejecting.But, one important thing to point out is that, I will never look back to the past. I will let the bygones be the bygones. Few days after i broke up with him, my mum got a house... Finally God sees that I have made the right decision by listening to Him and in turn he blessed me with a house! :) If ever one day that he turn back to me, I will not be softened again and accept him. Because I dun wanna be hurt again, just like adding salt to the wound. I wanna heal. and yes, I am now... a guy from my church asked me out for a meal and he initiated to have a solo pic with me on Easter Day. I love God, and he love God too. We commit and serve the Lord our God willingly and looks into our future in God's hands. Hmm, not much about this guy for the time being... but i believed that God has His plans for me and bless me the right partner in my life...:)I got a pressie today!!!Time for lunch!!!
Angelic
