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Wednesday, March 5, 2008
jus leave mi alone...
Sister Carolyn is on mc today... but she've got mi lots of work to do today during her absence... i'm tired.. bothered and irritated...work everyday from 8.30am to 6pm... to the hell of mi being a secretary to do lots of shit jobs... forget it, it's part of learning...moving out soon... dun ask mi to where... i dun have the answer myself too... the landlords are chasing us out of their house... most prob can stay til end of april... sis' wedding is during mid june... will we be able to get a house in these few months with the price that suits mum's affordability? i'm so desperated to move out! i dun wan to stay under people's roof.. i want a house of my own... i had enough of it... i'm stressed... thanks to the boy in the house who keeps complaining about us to his lousy and uneducated parents...driving us out like mad dogs...my relationship with him isn't getting any better either... can i be happy? how? he keeps on saying that i'm irritating, making him feel stress... did he think in my shoes as well? why did i keep on reminding him not to do this n not to do that? becos he did'nt change... i'm really disappointed...i wasted so much tears on him but i dun think that he really feels what i'm feeling now... yes, he said i'm irritating... i am likewise feeling that he's irritating whenever he says that i'm irritating... i keep on reminding him, jus becos i'm hoping to see changes in him... in that if i see any progress i will feel happy in this relationship... we have different moods.. when i'm very into good mood and wants some time with him, he will turn me off and say that he wants to go home.. i felt as though he have no intentions to see mi at all... i was totally turned off. and when i'm immuned to the bad mood, he will try to changed the situation and turn it upside down, trying to make mi happy... he should have done it earlier, shouldn't he? it just can't be salvage... when i talked about breaking up, he also never intend to salvage it... "we'll break up if you want to"... i'm so tired about this... why can't he see the importance of this relationship? is this a game? i dun even care what's happening around me... i jus wanna be left alone... i need silence...my heart is so painful... i have to get back to work, so that i won't think about the unhappy times... i have to pray to God too... i hope He answers.
Angelic
