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Sunday, June 29, 2008
Story of Dylan, 25
This morning i was rushing my way for the 8am class when a bunch of pink freaks gave me a booklet on pre-marital sex issues... i guess it will help for my market research proj coming up as MR's topic that my gp has chosen is about pre-marital sex too... the long-winded Ms. Chee who never fails to be so enthusiatic in her HRM tutorial goes on and on about HR w/o stopping... and i felt my eyes like a curtain... perhaps i was still feeling letargic after the sun at Sentosa on Saturday... i was so burnt that i cant carry my bag on my shoulder...i hardly turn and toss myself in bed for these 2 nights... and i had 3 hits on my burnt back from the church ppl ytd... and 2 hits from hazel and lina today... gosh... when will i peel...? most of the ppl in class stared at me for a while... cos i was so red... like a lobster/ apple??To keep myself awake from that "chiong hei" lesson, i flipped through the booklet to read up on some juicy stories... they are real life... a guy called Dylan, 25... he wrote this...:When i was in college, i dated a lot. and many of those dates would inevitably end up in bed. having sex was very liberating for me- i felt like a "king"! but somehow, there was often a lack of fulfilment afterwards. i call it the "love bangover"- that emptiness i would feel the morning after. sometimes, there was even a tinge of regret.i've come to realise that girls see "sex" a lot differently from how guys sees it. often, a girl will have sex to show her man how much she loves him. but i wanted sex mainly for physical pleasure and the way it made me feel like a 'real man'. sometimes, it was also a juicy story to impress my buddies.Unfortunately, sex destroyed some of my best relationships. she was pretty special to me, and our relationship was progressing nicely. then i decided to initiate sex. sex became the focus of our relationship, killing my interest in wanting to get to know her on any other levels. we slowly drifted apart.i really regret what happened, because we might still be together today if i (we) had chosen to wait.now, because of my past sexual experiences, it's difficult to get my girlfriend to fully trust me. there are times i fear she might hold herself bak from sharing her heart with me as honestly as she might want, because she jus doesn't trust me enough yet.so i've come to the conclusion that premarital sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. sure the sensations in-the-moment are great, but they really don't last. and the more times i had sex with other girls, the less i'll be able to earn the respect and trust of my future wife.here's another way of seeing it: if i don't eventually marry the girl i'm sleeping with, one day she might be another man's wife! i mean, when i do get married, i wouldn't like the idea that someone else has slept with my wife. how about you? I agree to wad Dylan had said... we might still be together if we had chosen to wait... Well, i had given you chances and chances to prove me that you can change for me, that we can wait for this special moment till the day we are married... i accepted you for your past and i mentioned that i am not yr ex-gf... i am myself... i love you to love me, hold my hand as we walk our way around the places in sentosa, cuddle me in yr arms like a baby, brush my hair with yr fingers and kiss me gently on my lips... all these is more than enough that i could feel the love from you... i often said to you that sex is not everything and is not a must that we should do when we are in a relationship as bf and gf... the most that i can give you now is a hug, a kiss and a care to show you that you are an important and special someone in my life... that is the most that i can give now... how much more do you need? i know that all of us are growing up and at certain times we do have sexual desires... but why can't we fight this battle together hand in hand and wait patiently till the day we are married? if you never had been so aggressive, i would still wanna be with you... being your partner that you will never feel lonely... i guess i failed to change you.. if i were to give you everything, i'm not helping you. instead, even one day that we are finished, you may still hurt other girls out there to give you their everything, jus like an object that's being used or shared by different men one after another... Even if you want to do it with someone you love, are you going to be responsible? are you seeing her as your going-to-be wife? i didnt chose to give you my everything... cos the trust wasn't there... i knew u wanted it for pleasure and feeling of intimacy and close contact... but i chose to save this everything as a special gift for my husband-someone who will agree to take care of me and not leave me... i gave up on you... fully... cos i can't place my trust on you anymore... i dun feel any sense of security, any care, any love... i do forgive you for yr past... but i cant on yr trust... that's why i chose to leave and be alone...
Angelic
