Patience and commitment..
I admit that I want some attention from my love one, but not to the extent that I want him to be 24 hours by my side. I just realised that its getting a bit worrying when your love one disappear for more than 24 hours, isnt it? or perhaps going to reach about 48 hours... this is what that really worries me. disappear and without letting you know how is he doing...Blame it on myself. I felt insecure. Because my ex, disappeared for many weeks.. then months... i waited and waited... And forever he is gone. I just want to say, the waiting is tormenting. I hate the wait. This time again, I'm afraid, afraid that he will never come back... even if he is not a foreigner, he has his own legs and he can go wherever he wants, and keep me away from his life. I don't ask for much. Just a simple message each day if you are really busy, am I asking too much? Can't spare me a few mins to give me a simple sms? His commitment in other things seem to occupy him fully, what about me? I know that coming up he has a special event to help his friend out, but I didn't expect that it takes him almost half of the week... Ya, I guess I don't understand how important that event is to his friend and him. Perhaps, I am really a nobody. Yes, I don't understand.. I really don't... "If this is what you really think, I have nothing to say.."- This is hurtful. I'm worried for you yet you don't see it..Maybe my concerns are redundane? There are actually many "what if"s in my head for the past 2 days.. What if he got an accident? What if he don't wake up? Which hospital? When will he wake up? or.. What if he passed out in some quiet places where no one notice him? So many "what if"s... What is going on? I am just concerned... If I am really someone who is important in your life, should you show some importance that I stay in your heart? At least an sms to tell me how you are doing? If this goes on... What will our future be like? Are you going to treat me and our children like this too? So you are placing me at a side? I know... I am the side salad of your main course. Ok... I will try to understand. But I hope this won't happen again. Even if there is need to, please let me know why you will be away for the period, so I won't be worried.. hao bu hao?... :(
